The Blog of auroraborealis

Members can use our free journaling service to keep track of their day-to-day thoughts and feelings. Think of it as a diary that you can choose to share or keep private. There's a lot to do here, so login or join us today-- it's free and anonymous, and you can be participating in seconds.

Do Something

New Post

Get your own free blog

Message auroraborealis

Browse

See auroraborealis's Blog

See Public Blogs

auroraborealis's Profile

Send to Friends

Bookmark This Blog

Sponsors

Help

Why Blog With Us?

Embed Photos

Embed Videos

Look at me, I'M NAKIE!!!

As if anyone needed more proof that I'm completely and utterly deranged...

Fluff Piece

My one year anniversary.

But... but... but... you HAVE to love me, I gave you gonorrhea!!!

SNAFU

Maisie, I need your help to get this...

So There!

Exactly Maisie... try... (or The Importance of Being Angry)

I Love You MaisieDobbs!

My New Years Resolution

One of those days where I just feel wrong.

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians, they are so unlike your Christ.

And finally... acceptance.

It's not him, it's me.

And yet... I still miss him.

Guys suck rotten, smelly, festering, pus filled eggs.

These boots are made for walking...

Oh the humanity!

Ok, now I'm p*ssed

A Cicada

This One's Gonna Hurt You (For A Long, Long Time)

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

I'm feeling extremely sad

House Republicans are revolting

Sunrise Report

Hopeless and helpless

IMHO...

I'm a total reject--yay me!

Stick a fork in me...

That's what blogs are for...

Next Saturday

WOW!!!

Trying to stay afloat

It didn't end well...

A day in the life...

Broken

Cute but psycho --Happy Bunny

And she's buying the stairway to hell

Fear of committment

At the edge of the abyss

Outta my mind on Sunday moanin'

No one else even comes close.

Ouch!

Drunken rant

Bent but never broken

I am a rock, I am an island.

I'm being downsized, and I'm glad

But I have so much to offer!!!

Never give up, never give in

Where's the lavender soap?

Suicide or ice cream?

Exhaustion

I'm too exhausted to think of a title

When you care enough to say the very best

Truth Fairy

Lonely

Yeah, the view is definitely better from up here!!!

Some days are just good days

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

The truth really will set you free

I just want to die already

Closure

And how was your Valentine's Day mourning?

That lovely pine scent...

Gambling on Love

Broken Heart

I'm just doing it wrong, right?

Grain of Sand

Jun 26th, 2008

Broken

I had dinner a little while ago and it's not sitting well. My stomach just doesn't want food and I'm fighting to keep it down. I'm sad. I just want to cry all the time. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I don't know if I have the strength to get through it. It's all so empty, so hollow.

I keep thinking about the hospital. I'm not nearly bad enough to be there, but in a weird way, I wish I were. I don't really like being locked up, but when I'm feeling like this the hospital provides a sense of safety. It's closed in and the day is structured. I want to feel safe. But I'm not going into the hospital this time. I've learned a lot of lessons from being there and, as much as I hate arts and crafts, I see their necessity. Structure is necessary to pulling out of this, having activities to keep the mind active are necessary to pulling out of this. It doesn't matter how badly I don't want to get up tomorrow. It doesn't matter how heavy or awful I feel, I'm getting up, going and I'm going to give it my all. Like it or not, this is my life and as long as I'm alive I'm going to live it with everything I've got.

Posted by AuroraBorealis at 19:27 on Jun 26th, 2008

3 Comments (

Add ) |

1042 views |

Permalink |

Flag Inappropriate

Your Comment:

This Journal Entry's Comment Board (3 comments)

1-3 of 3 Comments

First | Previous || Next | Last

Tate3 Feeling sleepy	Posted on 07:31PM on Jun 26th, 2008 Don't give up. You are definitely on the right track toward healing. ((hugs))
Maisiedobbs	Posted on 10:07PM on Dec 31st, 2008 If you can do it, I can. I do like arts and crafts though. But I think being locked up and told what to do would make me worse. I have a rebelious reflex that would make conforming impossible. God, I would so be tied up and drugged. Okay, note to self: Stay the hell out of the hospital. Thanks Aurora.
AuroraBorealis Feeling exhausted	Posted on 12:59AM on Jan 1st, 2009 I have a rebellious streak, too. The first time I went into the hospital, it was because I was delusional. I was hearing voices and they were telling me to drink drain cleaner. They were absolutely relentless! They kept telling me it was the only way to end the pain. But I'm oppositionally defiant and that beats psychotic any day of the week. I told the voices if they wanted me dead, I wasn't going to do it for them, they had to kill me themselves. So I sat and waited, and waited, and waited. They never came. I don't like being told what to do, either! :)
Add Comment

1-3 of 3 Comments

First | Previous || Next | Last

Anonymous & free
Join millions & get access to everything we have to offer in seconds

Already have an account?

More Personal Stories

Be YOURSELF

Be a part of the first social experience place on the web. Where who you are is more important than who you know. Share what matters the most and find others who just "get it."

Join now and get started in seconds, or learn more about Experience Project

Q&A