The Blog of auroraborealis

I try to embrace life and live each day to the fullest, but some days that's easier than others and today is one of the hard ones--a really hard one.

Yesterday was my last day at my old job.    This one person in my department asked me to go to lunch, but she canceled at the last minute so I sat at my desk and ate microwave popcorn.   A couple people in my department said goodbye, but for the most part, no one cared.    That pretty much describes my entire four years there-no one cared.    I busted my ass for that place and no one cared.   My boss didn't even thank me for all of the hard work I did--he just never cared.

And just now my ex picked a fight with me--I do a lot for him and he doesn't care either.   I'm literally physically ill from all of the stress and he doesn't care--it's all about him.  It's really hard to keep going when you are surrounded by people who just don't care.    It just makes you feel like a complete and total loser.

When it's one person telling you that you suck, it's probably them, but when it's the whole world, it's you.   I wish I could figure out what I'm doing wrong.   I try to be nice to people, I try to help people, I try to work hard and do a great job.   

I know, I know, it doesn't matter what others think, it only matters what I think, but I'm getting really sick of doing stuff solely for my own amusement.   If the world doesn't care, why should I?   I'm ready to give up.