Totally amazing | auroraborealis's Blog

I've had a crush on Puck since May.   The first time I saw him I was like "wow!"   I tried hitting on him a couple of times back then, but he kind of brushed me off.   I was nursing a crush on him all summer.   I thought he blew me off in August--he didn't, it was just miscommunication.   Not only am I completely infatuated with him, but I have fallen madly, passionately, completely, utterly head over heels in love with him.   I love him, I adore him and I cherish him with all that I am.    And he feels the exact same way about me.   

I keep waiting for the punch line.    This is me we're talking about.    No one loves me.  No one.   Not romantically, anyway.   Not that there's anything wrong with me.   I've just always had very bad luck.    I've never had a relationship before.   I was married, but that was just a thing... then it was a marriage.... and then it was over.   This is my first real relationship.    The first time I've ever used the word boyfriend.   He's a lot of firsts.   And a lot of lasts.   My last first kiss.   The last thing I think about every night before I drift off to sleep.

We're coming up on three months and it still feels like a dream.    I never, ever, in a million years would have guessed that I had a chance with him.    I was sick, my self-esteem was through the floor, I felt horrible about myself.    I never could have imagined that I would turn out to be the love of his life.   I'm still in shock.    It's totally unbelievable.