The morning after the night before... | auroraborealis's Blog

I feel that I may be in very grave danger of having an alien burst out of my chest and grab onto someone's face and not let go.

My son's friend's mother, D, stopped by unannounced several times last week to see if I was home.   I haven't spoken to this woman in over a year.    Finally on Friday I couldn't avoid her.    Having stopped by unannounced she proceeded to tell me that she had signed us up for a class.   She told me I didn't have to go if I didn't want to--which I really, really don't--but I agreed to go anyway.    I really don't like her.   Am I allowed to say that?    If she knew it would really hurt her, and I don't want to hurt her, I just don't like her.   

Her mother was a cold woman and because of that she is depressed--very, very depressed.    She's on medication, she's in therapy, she goes to support groups, she's basically addicted to her depression.    She makes it the centerpiece of her, and her family's lives.   Everything centers around her depression, her moods, her anxiety, if she's having a good day, if she's having a bad day, it's all her, her, her, her, her, her, her.

On Friday she was telling me about how much trouble her son is having in school--repeated suspensions, he's lying to her, constant behavior problems and she's constantly punishing him and it's not working.    I told her exactly what I would do if my son were behaving like that, and I think she took it to heart.    Which was a huge mistake on my part.    Later, before she left, I witnessed a conversation between her and her son.    She was grilling him on whether he had mowed the lawn.   I watched her son carefully.   He didn't look defiant, and he wasn't lying, he just looked worn out, beaten down and fed up.    She accepted that he mowed the lawn, and said that he could sleep over, but then she came back later to yell at him and make him come home and mow the lawn that night--it was already after ten and dark, but that didn't seem to matter.    The next morning my son told me that he was over at their house and watched his friend mow the lawn, so he knew his friend wasn't lying about it.    I'm starting to think that this woman has a case of emotional Munchausen by Proxy.   She's not getting enough attention for her depression anymore so she's getting attention by being the much-put-upon mother of a troubled teen--who's only troubled because she's creating it.    I'm going to go to the class with her and find a way to discuss this with her.   I'm really worried about her son.   But I could really do without her in my life right now.

Saturday morning I agreed to go out to breakfast with my ex and my son.   My ex relayed the events that he had witnessed between my son's friend an his mother and it gave him a chance to reflect on his own perfection.    He is absolutely convinced that he is the sanest person in the world, that there isn't a thing wrong with him.   I didn't say a word.

I'm not saying I'm perfect.    I've made mistakes.  I've lost my temper.    My son has seen lots of fights between me and my ex that in a perfect world he probably shouldn't have seen.   My ex LOVES to remind me about how crazy I am, how imperfect I am--I've been committed twice to mental hospitals since my son was born.    I've worked a lot of 80 and 90 hour weeks, I've had a stalker and a few major illnesses.    But my son was always the center of my life, not the other way around.    My son had a fairly normal childhood, he's 15 and very polite and respectful, he's very well liked by all of his teachers, he gets good grades, he's kind, laid back and easy going.   I don't think it gets much better than that for 15.

I'm not perfect, I never said I was.  I make plenty of mistakes all the time, but what sets me apart is that I look up, I look out, I see other people, I see their pain, I do what I can to help, I do what I can to make the world a better place.   Yes, sometimes I make it about me, and right now is one of those times.    I'm exhausted and bitter and I need some time away from people to heal, but it's not ALWAYS about me.    That's the way a lot of people get through life--it's ALWAYS about them, they can't stand it when it's about someone else, even their own child.   Selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate poeople.    My patience is wearing so thin I'm about to burst.   

At some point that alien is going to pop out of my chest and attach itself to someone's face and then they'll be sorry!   They'll try to cut it off and acid will leak out all over the floor threatening to burn a hole in the hull of their ship.    Then they'll be sorry... yeah, yeah... just wait until that happens... then every one will be sorry, huh?   They'll be sorry then, won't they?